Suggestions

by David Sydney

The "Suggestion Box" was Marge's idea. She was the waitress at AL'S DINER.

"People might get, well, more interested in the place, Al."

He frowned. "Don't expect any better tips, Marge."

He wasn't wild about the idea. But he wasn't wild about many of the customers either.

After a month, Marge emptied the contents of the box.

“So… What'd they suggest?”

The last diners were gone. AL'S was closed until 6:00 AM.

Sitting at the plywood counter in the poor light, she tallied the results.

“Three people want real cream in the Cream of Tomato Soup… Four thought we should remove the soup entirely from the menu…”

Al had a large stock of canned soup. It wouldn't happen.

“One said to rename Pot Roast as Pot Luck.”

That he'd consider.

She looked up from the largest pile of slips. “But most thought…”

“What?”

“...that we should offer flyswatters with every order, Al.”

━━━━⊱༒︎ • ༒︎⊰━━━━

David Sydney is a physician who writes fiction in and out of the EHR (Electronic Health Record).

 

October 29, 2025







 

Marinated

by David Sydney

“You're back already, Ed?”

Edna looked up from her coffee. She’d hoped to be alone for more than 30 minutes in the kitchen as Ed shopped that Saturday morning. They alternated shopping.

“I bought us a half dozen cans of herring, Edna.”

Whenever he talked about a reduced price, Ed was animated. He displayed one of the jars which featured cream sauce.

What did he mean by "us"?

“But we have a lot already, Ed.”

She didn't need to point to the refrigerator with an entire shelf of Ed's jars.

Who else eats that kind of stuff anyway?

Of course, Ed did get a terrific price.

She grimaced, looking at her coffee, but thinking of the unnecessary fish. She added a few extra frown lines to her forehead as she spotted another fly.

“How about the flypaper, Ed?”

Damn. He'd forgotten the flypaper. And that was the main reason he'd gone that Saturday at 8 AM, just to make sure the market wouldn't run out.

“Flies, Ed.”

How many times did he need to be told?

She brushed another one away from her coffee.

“When you have flies, Ed, you need flypaper.”

The stuff works. A fly on flypaper is as good as, well, dead. It's the end of that fly at least. But, on this Saturday, they had more fish – almost anyone but Ed would say way more – but no adhesive paper.

The flies of this world are a constant problem. There will always be flies. Long after Edna, Ed, and the entire human race exit this planet, there will still be plenty of the filthy bulbous-headed insects.

But fish? Marinated fish? That's, well, another matter.

And how often could Ed get three jars of herring for the price of one?

━━━━⊱༒︎ • ༒︎⊰━━━━

David Sydney is a physician who writes fiction in and out of the EHR (Electronic Health Record).

 

The Assistant

by James C. Clar

For years I had been unable to find an assistant capable of maintaining order in my shop. Applicants came and went, leaving behind only more misplaced volumes and unfilled orders. Admittedly, my bookstore—Aleph Books – was a labyrinth of paper and dust. I reconciled myself to the idea that chaos was forever to be my natural element. One fog-shrouded morning, however, I opened a crate of rare Hebrew manuscripts acquired from the estate of a rabbi in the Czech Republic. Among them was a slim volume bound in calfskin: Sefer Yetzirah. The text bore the unmistakable annotations of Rabbi Eleazar of Worms.

One marginal note, penned in almost indecipherable Aramaic, seemed to describe a formula for forming life from inanimate matter. I copied down what I could make of it, more out of curiosity than actual belief. One dark autumn evening, under a dim bulb in my storeroom, I followed the text’s obscure instructions as closely as I could. My materials consisted of freshly dug soil plus the resin and clay used to restore old bindings and book covers.

To say that the results exceeded my wildest expectations would be an understatement.

The following morning, my new assistant, Lem, got to work. Within hours, my shop possessed a new coherence. Long lost books were stacked neatly on the tables. My inventory had been alphabetized, cataloged and cross-referenced by subject and author.

When customers asked for obscure works such as The Approach to Al-Mu’tasim by Bahadur, for example, Lem’s pale hand reached unerringly to the exact shelf. My clientele, a mix of mystics, dilettantes, and eccentrics, took to him at once. One elderly collector whispered that the boy’s eyes reflected letters when the light struck them a certain way.

His appearance did not phase them. I had fitted him out in some of my old clothes. They hung on him in a rather shapeless and somewhat disturbing way. Nor did the fact that he spoke only in inarticulate grunts precipitate complaints. I explained his sudden arrival as a favor to a cousin in the “old country” who wanted their boy to see a bit of the world.

Business flourished. Orders arrived from London, Buenos Aires, Paris. Lem stood silently behind the counter, committing each transaction to infallible memory. It was inevitable that others would covet him. A bookseller visiting from Helsinki offered to “borrow” him for six months. Another collector hinted at a buy-out. I refused both. But envy moves in far more insidious ways. I began finding notes for Lem tucked in volumes throughout the store. The idea of allowing him to work for someone else was, as you can imagine, out of the question.

I knew then what I must regrettably do. The formula’s reversal was mercifully brief: a mystical letter erased from his forehead; a mere breath released. Lem dissolved into dust finer than that which had at one time coated my bookshelves.

Predictably, in time, the order of the shop decayed. Customers grew impatient; I could no longer locate the most mundane texts. I tried to reconstruct my catalog, but the handwriting blurred, the pages defied sequence. I had promised to set aside a first edition of Runeberg’s Kristus och Judas for a collector from Trieste. When he arrived, I couldn’t find it.

That very evening, I reopened the Sefer Yetzirah. I gathered my materials and began again, this time telling myself it was for the sake of scholarship, not profit. Still, if I worked quickly, perhaps my new assistant – who would henceforth remain behind the scenes – could locate the Runeberg before the buyer left the country!

━━━━⊱༒︎ • ༒︎⊰━━━━

Author's note: Apart from the Sefer Yetzirah, the names of the other texts in this story are the invention of the incomparable Argentinean fabulist, Jorge Luis Borges.

James C. Clar is a writer and retired teacher who divides his time between Upstate New York and Honolulu, Hawaii. In addition to his contributions to Sudden Flash, his short fiction, essays, book reviews and author interviews have appeared in print and online.

 

Lucky Brick

by M.D. Smith IV

Bill and Nancy Martin married in 1955, two fresh college graduates brimming with optimism and a kind of earnest innocence that only youth and the postwar years could inspire. They moved into a modest three-bedroom house at the end of Sycamore Lane. The place had flaking white trim, a sagging porch, and a promise written into every cracked board. It wasn’t much, but it was theirs. Bill was good with his hands and had been since he was a boy taking apart radios in his father’s garage. Nancy, patient, soft-spoken, and filled with love, could turn any room into something warm just by being there. Together, they made that house their dream.

First thing they saw in the empty house, was a fireplace brick on the hearth. It was the single item that tumbled from above. That afternoon, Bill scratched their initials on it with a steel awl, BM + NM 1955, and mortared it back in place.

They enjoyed lovely fires with oak and cedar logs that winter.

Bill Jr. arrived first, a chubby, wide-eyed baby who grew into a curious boy with a habit of dismantling toys just to see how they worked. Then came Sally, with her mother’s auburn hair and a laugh like wind chimes.

Life filled every corner of the house, toys underfoot, school shoes by the door, the scent of cookies mingling with sawdust from Bill’s constant repairs. The hearth saw Christmas mornings, birthday candles, teenage tantrums, and late-night talks when the kids came home from dates.

And always, that brick.

Every year or so, without fail, it tumbled free, landing on the hearth with a muffled clatter. Bill would sigh, fetch his tools, and lie on an old painter’s canvas, re-mortaring their “lucky brick” into place. The family joked that the house simply needed to be reminded who it belonged to.

“Guess it wants a little attention,” Bill would say, grinning as he worked.

Each time, he’d point out their initials to the children, as if retelling a fable. And each time, Nancy would smile and shake her head, her eyes soft with memory.

They went through their share of kids in accidents, a few hospital stays. The kids graduated colleges, married and had good jobs in cities far away and began their own families.

Later years, Bill needed two hip replacements from his jogging. After that, Nancy got a new knee. It never slowed the family down.

By 2020, when Bill and Nancy celebrated their sixty-fifth anniversary, and nearing ninety years old, they decided to move to a furnished care facility and sell the house. The kids got everything they wanted, and an estate sale took care of most everything else. After the movers cleaned out the house, it was as bare as when the couple bought it.

Closing the door to leave, Nancy remarked, “Oh, look, Bill. There’s something left behind.” She pointed to the fireplace brick.

He turned it over, thumb tracing the groove of their carved initials.

“What say we leave it for the next couple?” he said. “They’ll need to fix the fireplace anyway.”

Nancy smiled through tears. “Then maybe they’ll have as much luck as we did.”

She kissed him softly, and together they placed the brick where it had fallen and closed the door.

Outside, the evening sun caught the windows, setting them aglow.

Inside, the brick sat waiting on the hearth, patient as ever.

And when the door latched shut behind them, a faint sound echoed through the empty house… a quiet clink, like a promise resetting itself for the next dreamers.

━━━━⊱༒︎ • ༒︎⊰━━━━

M.D. Smith of Huntsville, Alabama, writer of over 350 flash stories, has published digitally in Frontier Times, Flash Fiction Magazine, Bewilderingstories.com, and many more. Retired from running a television station, he lives with his wife of 64 years and three cats. https://mdsmithiv.com/

 

A Monument to Adam

creative nonfiction
by Mark Twain


Just for fun, we occasionally publish vintage pieces from historic authors.
Some one has revealed to the TRIBUNE that I once suggested to Rev. Thomas K. Beecher, of Elmira, New York, that we get up a monument to Adam, and that Mr. Beecher favored the project. There is more to it than that. The matter started as a joke, but it came somewhat near to materializing.

It is long ago--thirty years. Mr. Darwin's DESCENT OF MAN had been in print five or six years, and the storm of indignation raised by it was still raging in pulpits and periodicals. In tracing the genesis of the human race back to its sources, Mr. Darwin had left Adam out altogether. We had monkeys, and "missing links," and plenty of other kinds of ancestors, but no Adam. Jesting with Mr. Beecher and other friends in Elmira, I said there seemed to be a likelihood that the world would discard Adam and accept the monkey, and that in the course of time Adam's very name would be forgotten in the earth; therefore this calamity ought to be averted; a monument would accomplish this, and Elmira ought not to waste this honorable opportunity to do Adam a favor and herself a credit.

Then the unexpected happened. Two bankers came forward and took hold of the matter--not for fun, not for sentiment, but because they saw in the monument certain commercial advantages for the town. The project had seemed gently humorous before--it was more than that now, with this stern business gravity injected into it. The bankers discussed the monument with me. We met several times. They proposed an indestructible memorial, to cost twenty-five thousand dollars. The insane oddity of a monument set up in a village to preserve a name that would outlast the hills and the rocks without any such help, would advertise Elmira to the ends of the earth-- and draw custom. It would be the only monument on the planet to Adam, and in the matter of interest and impressiveness could never have a rival until somebody should set up a monument to the Milky Way.

People would come from every corner of the globe and stop off to look at it, no tour of the world would be complete that left out Adam's monument. Elmira would be a Mecca; there would be pilgrim ships at pilgrim rates, pilgrim specials on the continent's railways; libraries would be written about the monument, every tourist would kodak it, models of it would be for sale everywhere in the earth, its form would become as familiar as the figure of Napoleon.

One of the bankers subscribed five thousand dollars, and I think the other one subscribed half as much, but I do not remember with certainty now whether that was the figure or not. We got designs made-- some of them came from Paris.

In the beginning--as a detail of the project when it was yet a joke-- I had framed a humble and beseeching and perfervid petition to Congress begging the government to built the monument, as a testimony of the Great Republic's gratitude to the Father of the Human Race and as a token of her loyalty to him in this dark day of humiliation when his older children were doubting and deserting him. It seemed to me that this petition ought to be presented, now--it would be widely and feelingly abused and ridiculed and cursed, and would advertise our scheme and make our ground-floor stock go off briskly. So I sent it to General Joseph R. Hawley, who was then in the House, and he said he would present it. But he did not do it. I think he explained that when he came to read it he was afraid of it: it was too serious, to gushy, too sentimental--the House might take it for earnest.

We ought to have carried out our monument scheme; we could have managed it without any great difficulty, and Elmira would now be the most celebrated town in the universe.

━━━━⊱༒︎ • ༒︎⊰━━━━

Mark Twain was the pen name of Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835 – 1910), often characterized as the greatest American humorist. In addition to innumerable stories and essays, he is remembered for his novels, including Tom Sawyer, Huckleberry Finn, and A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court.