By Chris Cottom
As you lug Bethan’s boxes upstairs, agree when she says this doesn’t mean you’re “living together”, only staying until she finds her own place and, as a fast-track graduate, the bank could send her anywhere. Don’t grin like a mook when she hugs you for clearing half your wardrobe for her.
Look cool and unconcerned when she says something over brunch about “both still seeing other people.” Realise this is both a green light and a red one.
Don’t argue when she chucks what she calls your “man-cave duvet cover” in favour of something in Moon Shimmer White.
Trudge round IKEA while any self-respecting Chelsea supporter is at Stamford Bridge, watching them thrash Liverpool. Because it needs two people to choose a futon for when Bethan’s sister Saba comes to stay.
Don’t let on that supper parties aren’t your thing, with Bethan getting stressed and sweaty over crumbed asparagus with saffron yogurt in your “cupboard-sized” kitchen, until the evening when, amid the database wizards and wannabe entrepreneurs, you sit next to Saba.
Keep your voice neutral when you tell Bethan, as she packs for Prague, that it’s fine for her sister to stay until she starts uni in September. If she wants to.
Agree that, compared to a bed, a futon is unnecessarily uncomfortable.
Take the M40 out of London on a sunny Bank Holiday Saturday to picnic at Blenheim Palace, stereo blaring, windows down and Saba’s straw-coloured hair whipping in the wind as she drives Bethan’s beloved VW Beetle.
Wake alone to hear sister hissing at sister. Accept that you can’t tell them apart.
Watch a tear-blotched Bethan stuff belongings into binbags. Say nothing when she shouts you should have known “seeing other people” didn’t mean sisters, didn’t actually mean anybody.
Chris Cottom lives near Macclesfield, UK. His work features in 100 Word Story, Bending Genres, Fictive Dream, FlashFlood, Flash Frontier, Gooseberry Pie, Leon Literary Review, MoonPark Review, NFFD NZ, Oyster River Pages, Roi Fain?ant, The Lascaux Review, and elsewhere. Find him at chriscottom.wixsite.com/chriscottom and @chriscottom.bsky.social













